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suzzan-blac
suzzan blac
United Kingdom
I am a surrealist who expresses my emotions and feelings through the medium of oils.
Everything that I create is purely from my thoughts and imagination. For me, that is the epitome of art—art is a personal visualization in which one can conjure up imagery that ordinarily no one can see. But through art, one can observe the innermost thoughts of another human being without feeling intrusive, and have the capacity to connect, identify and react to this universal insight.

I have much to say and I say it in paint, for painting is an instantaneous and powerful medium that challenges minds and reverberates through history.

Current Residence: united kindom
Favourite genre of music: classical
Favourite photographer: Julia margaret cameron
Favourite style of art: surrealism
Favourite cartoon character: ren and stimpy
Personal Quote: "Art is a primeval urge which defines us as human beings, it stamps an emotional seal on the documentation of life”
Interests
A letter to the man who destroyed my innocence

By Suzzan Blac – 1969.

My Blog - theartofsuzzanblac.blogspot.co…

See the video of me reading this letter - www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCpJgD…


To Don,

Just wanted you to know what has happened to me, since that first day that you came and got me.

This may not mean much to you, you may not even recall those two years that we had together. But this is what it did; and will continue to do to me.

I was sat in the garden playing with a stringed puppet. I was asking her 'if she liked butter' as I moved her face above the buttercups on the lawn, to see the yellow light on her chin.

Suddenly, your giant, seven foot shadow fell on me. I looked up at your smiling face, as you took my hand and said that you had something to show me.

As you led me up the staircase, I thought, that maybe you had a present for me.

But, when we went into the bathroom and you locked the door, I felt that something was very wrong and that I was in trouble.

You led me over to the toilet bowl, and I remember being very confused. Because when you unzipped your trousers, you kept telling me that 'I was such a good girl'.

I didn't know the words for what you did to me and made me do to you. All I thought, was that you were hurting and punishing me. But not in the same way that mother did.

So, just as I took mothers beatings, I took your punishment.

And, although, I did exactly what you wanted; I hated it so much, that I learned how to make the hurt go away, by turning all of the stains and marks on the bathroom wall, into faces.

And if I could do it really well, then it was like; I wasn't with you whilst you did those things.

And, when you punished me in front of mother, she didn't seem to mind, so I thought it was okay, because whenever she hurt me, I didn't know what I had done wrong either.

These punishments of yours lasted about two years, up until mother left you, after you had beaten her badly in front of us.

You may not remember any of this, but I certainly will for the remainder of my life.


I am going to become withdrawn, cynical and mistrusting of everyone. I am going to let others punish me in the way that you did, because I will think that this is how the world is and that I always deserve to be punished because I am always bad. You even told me that it was all my fault because 'I was so pretty'.

Then, when I'm thirteen, I will take drugs and drink a lot of alcohol to escape these punishments, because I can't make faces out of the stains any more now that I'm older and I won't care if I die.

When I am sixteen, I will be abducted into sex trafficking and forced to do pornography and prostitution, because both mother and myself didn't care about anyone taking advantage of me, and I will accept this abduction as my own fault. I will blame myself,  because I was stupid enough to go to London with a complete stranger.

After that, I will become severely depressed, hurt myself and attempt suicide three times.

A Doctor will put me on Valium. I will think, that I myself am mentally disturbed, because I cannot recognise my own abuse. I will live with pain and trauma for the following years.

I will then give birth to a daughter and suffer incredible stress and flashbacks so I will go and seek professional help. This will cause me more stress and trauma due to secondary victimisation by family, friends and social workers.

Years later, I will paint images of your punishments and try to learn about other people like you.

I will find out, that there are millions of you, punishing millions of me, every minute of the day, all over the world. And this in itself will cause me untold distress. As will the fact, that so many of you will not get the punishment that you deserve.

And when I become a grandmother to an innocent baby girl...it will all begin again.

Every move she makes, every word that she speaks, every game that she plays...will remind me of you. You are always next to her.

And one night, when I stay over and sleep next to my daughter. My granddaughter will climb into the bed between us.

I will smile with absolute love and pride. But, it will only lasts a few seconds..because you will climb into the bed with us.

And, although I will try my hardest to get you to leave... you will remain with me until my dying breath.



From Suzzan

aged 8.

Comments


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:iconripperfangs:
Ripperfangs Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
GOD your art is truly amazing!! So powerful...

I just want you to know that :)
Reply
:icondddb9mnc:
dddb9mnc Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015
REPORT every photo u see and profiles like this (hes been arround 8 years) . Deviant is full of these images and deleted profiles STILL have online pics of these children for everyone to see!


allikatx.deviantart.com/art/Ne…

HeartOfArendelle Nov 27, 2012  Professional Photographer
so cute :aww: pretty and sexy :love:

heartofarendelle.deviantart.co…
Reply
:iconsundersart23:
sundersart23 Featured By Owner Edited May 8, 2015  Professional General Artist
Your work is amazing.  Very powerful.
Reply
:iconsuzzan-blac:
suzzan-blac Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015
A big thank you to all of you who comment here. I don't come on here often, but I am so touched by your wonderful, heartfelt words.
Reply
:iconfradga:
Fradga Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your work is harrowing and very, very good. Apart from the message, acute in itself, I have seldom seen portraits of pain more artistically effective than this.  
Reply
:iconfharroway:
fharroway Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
Your work is stunning. Haunting. Just magnificent.
Reply
:iconfablepaint:
FablePaint Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Professional Filmographer
Thank you for all these.
Reply
:iconmariedark:
mariedark Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
your work is so inspiring, you are the most talented and breathtaking artist i have ever come across
Reply
:icontransatlanticalien:
transatlanticalien Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You and your work are so incredible <3
Reply
:iconbear48:
bear48 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Professional
I find your work deeply moving and I hope it helps you heal as some of my work has help me heal
Reply
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